1/3 Hey friends, fans, and lurkers. I am trying to find ways to still engage with my audience online even though, quite frankly, I’m not in a great place. So here’s a bit of a trauma/lore dump for those of you who are interested.
My life looks very different now than it did a few years ago when I started cultivating my online community. For awhile now I have felt homesick even though I have been back in Chicago for more than 2 years at this point. Usually the twinge in my heart just caused a bit of a creative block that was easy enough to power through. Recently it’s been bringing my entire operation to a full halt. I haven’t been able to livestream, take pictures, or make any of my normal content without having anxiety attacks that are so severe my joints freeze and I struggle to hold a conversation.
I spent most of my 20’s in North Phoenix and have a very complicated relationship with the southwest. It’s as terrifying as it is beautiful and I’m sure I will elaborate on that in the future but for now all I can focus on is everything that I miss. The sunsets, the mountain backdrop, the basketball court at my apartment complex that made it so easy for an agoraphobe like myself to rollerskate to my heart’s content.